The lowdown on the MSU ducks.

by Morgan Solomon

With close to 1,000 Facebook followers, the MSU ducks are nothing short of celebrities on campus. I mean, these ducks are pampered and everyone in Bozeman knows about them. In a recent interview with the eldest mallard of the pond, we found out what it’s like being an MSU duck.

Mr. Mallard, why are you and the ducks so popular around campus?
“Well, first I’d like to say that we’re certainly appreciative of the love. It’s really something to be able to winter over in Montana if we want, with only a bare minimum of harassment and shenanigans on campus. If I had to guess, our fans like us because we’re a welcome distraction from classes—a bit of wildness right here on MSU grounds. And I’ve been told that we waddle in an amusing manner.”

“We’re ready for our crumbs now, thank you very much.”

Describe your typical day at the pond.
“First thing is usually the morning rush from the dorms. Those freshman really book it—get it, book it?—when they’re late in the morning. After that, we typically lounge in the sun until the morning shift arrives. Bread-throwers, that is. They feed us until we barely float, and then it’s time for a nap.”

Sounds rough.
“Well, there are all of those domestic wolves to contend with. They’re either chasing us around the pond about to snap our heads off, or stealin’ the bread nuggets right from under our beaks. Of course, out-of-town ducks can be a pain, too. They clearly don’t know what a big deal we are, and sometimes I wonder if fighting for a piece of bread is worth a black eye or broken rib.” 

Still, for a duck it sounds pretty plush.
“Yeah. We wouldn’t want it any other way. After the Ugly Duckling, Daffy Duck, and that miserly Scrooge McDuck, we’re pretty much the biggest story in duck celebrities these days. Those Duck Dynasty fools don’t hold a candle.”

To stay in touch with Mr. Mallard and the gang, visit them at the duck pond (with bread, of course) or go to facebook.com/pages/MSU-Duck-Pond.