Vocab to avoid this semester—and beyond.

By the editors of Outside Bozeman

Lingo can be a good thing. It can be a fun part of any culture and a time-saving linguistic device. But it can also be super, super douchey. Here’s a smattering of Bozeman slang to avoid at all costs—unless you’re playing in the douchebag Olympics. Review the inane idioms below and add up your points.

Pulling Down: Climbing
Example: “Wanna hit Spire and pull down tonight?”
5 points

Conrad/Connie: Conrad Anker (local climber, quasi-celebrity, do-gooder, and all-around nice guy)
Example: “I was pulling down at Practice and saw Connie killin’ it on Cardiac Arête. He gave me beta on the crux of Theoretically—I totally sent it!”
3 Points

Ill/Sick: An expression used to denote a quality experience
Example: “Dude, Big Timber Creek is so ill right now—I was throwing Brown Claws every chance I got, it was sick!”
5 points

Brown Claw: A hand gesture (which ironically represents holding a bag of fresh “brown” or human feces) recognized in kayaking circles as a symbol of stoke
Example: See above
10 points

The White Stuff: Snow
Example: “I can’t wait to shred the white stuff tomorrow. Saddle’s gonna be sick! Pow-pow gnar-gnar, bitches!)”
5 points

Pow-Pow/Gnar-Gnar: Snow
Example: See above
10 points

’Za: Pizza
Example: “I’m famished, bro… wanna grab some ’za at Tarantino’s?”
3 points

The ’Stone: Yellowstone River
Example: “Let’s float the ’Stone, then chow some ’za at the Murray.”
5 points

Ripping Lip: Catching fish
Example: “Brody and me were rippin’ lip like crazy on the ’Stone. It was so sick!”
10 points

Bozeman Blight: A section of town in northeast Bozeman that, despite home prices rising above $300,000 for tiny, rundown fixer-uppers, retains a hipster reputation for “authenticity,” and encourages chicken coops in un-zoned alleys
Example: “We totally scored a sick house in the Blight for only $315,000; like, 850 square feet with room for a compost bin out back.”
5 points

Key:
1-10 points: You are susceptible to the douche virus, but preventive treatment can still save you. Call your doctor or talk to a Filling Station bartender.
11-20 points: You’re getting douchey. Stay inside and try not to speak.
21-30 points: You’re a raging douchebag and should be quarantined immediately.
More than 30 points: You have a terminal case of douchitits. Sorry. Stay away from other humans, lest you spread your venal plague.

Go-to mountain-bike trails. 

by David Tucker

Whether you’re new to biking or you’ve been ripping singletrack for years, Bozeman has something to offer. Here are a few classics to try out.

Mystic Lake: Choose Your Adventure
The beauty of the Mystic Lake trail is its variety; you can ride mellow Forest Service road and gnarly singletrack, all in one ride. If you’re just starting out, pace yourself with an out-and-back, anywhere from two to 18 miles up and down the dirt road. If you’re up for more of a challenge, make the ride a loop by adding the Wall of Death, a white-knuckle stretch of exposed singletrack.

South Cottonwood: Get in the Flow
If Bozeman has one trail that feels like it was built for biking, it’s South Cottonwood. Mellow climbs, flowy cross-country sections, and gentle descents make this a must-ride. Like Mystic Lake, it’s an out-and-back, so you can go for a short jaunt or an all-day epic. South Cottonwood also connects to History Rock, meaning you can add even more vertical to your ride if you shuttle. If you opt for this ride, we suggest starting from the Hyalite / History Rock side.

The colors of Chestnut.

Chestnut Mountain: Beginners Beware
Just east of town off I-90 is the trailhead for Chestnut, one of Bozeman’s more grueling climbs. Switchback after switchback, you’ll ascend to the top of a wildflower-covered ridge with incredible views of the Absarokas and Crazies. This ride is definitely for those in good shape, or those looking for punishment. Another out-and-back, the trail eventually connects to several other options; so again, as with many things in Bozeman, the size of the adventure depends only on your ambition.

Items for backpacking season. 

by the editors

Minus a few extreme eventualities – snow, swarms of skeeters, a hungry griz sniffing around the tent – backcountry camping in the summer is a good time no matter what gear you’ve got. But a few small comforts and conveniences can go a long way. Here are a few items we haul into the woods with us these days. 

GSI Outdoors Ultralight Camp Table
Flat, smooth surfaces are always a commodity at a backcountry campsite, especially clean ones. Avoid grit on your spoon and enhance your outdoor kitchen with this featherweight table, which folds in half length-wise and packs into a slim sleeve that can be stuffed almost anywhere. Just a few extra ounces on your back keeps cooking items off the ground and organized, making the entire experience that much more enjoyable. This sucker’s surprisingly stout given its small size, and while snapping the legs into place takes a little trial and error the first time around, one use and you’ll be glad you brought this thing along. $35; gsioutdoors.com.

GSI Outdoors Pinnacle Dualist Cook Set
Compact and light is the name of the game, and integrated systems are the modern standard. One of the best setups I’ve used is the Pinnacle Dualist, which, as the name implies, has everything you need for two people: boiling pot with lid, bowls, mugs, utensils, and room for stove and fuel, all of which fits together in a single stack, kinda like those nested Chinese boxes. Wrap it up in the stuff sack and voila, your entire kitchen (sans table above, of course) comprises less space and weight than your sleeping bag. $65; gsioutdoors.com.

Wild Tinder Fire Pellets
A campfire is a primal experience, connecting us to our ancestors all the way back to neolithic times, as they gradually rose above the other animals. Fire played no small part in our development, so why not honor that heritage by keeping your fire-starting primal, too? We’re not talking about a sweat-inducing bow drill, but rather, wait for it… moose poop! Yep, cowboys fed fires with buffalo dung and you can start a campfire with ungulate crap, thanks to Wild Tinder Fire Pellets, which is moose scat dipped in parrafin wax – so it’s all-natural to boot. Made in Livingston. $10; wildtinder.com.