A Griz and a Bobcat walk into a bar… 

by the editors

The Cat-Griz rivalry is a nasty one, and we’re here to throw some salt on the wound. At this year’s annual gridiron get-together, keep one or two of these up your sleeve.

• Why do Griz grads put their diplomas on the dashboards of their cars?
  To qualify for handicapped parking.

• What do you call a Grizzly with a Big Sky Conference championship ring?
  A thief.

• What’s the difference between the Griz and a dollar bill?
  You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

• What does the average UM player get on his SATs?
  Drool.

• How do you get a UM grad off your porch?
  Pay him for the pizza.

• What are the longest three years of a UM football player’s life?
  Freshman year.

• How many UM freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
  Not sure—that’s a sophomore course at UM.

• Do you know why the Griz were considering changing their team name to “the Possums”?
  Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

• What’s the difference between a Griz fan and a carp?
  One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker—the other is a fish.